(r00) Another example of a positive re-frame may be at the dentist office. We may tell our selves... think of how great my teeth will look after they are cleaned. Someone over weight may tell themselves how good they would feel if they could drop a size. Setting reasonable goals could also be considered a positive reframe as long as you don't fault yourself if you fall short.
(r01) In order to beat depression you can and must start replacing negative thought with positive re-frames. Eventually the negative thought will subside because the conscious mind is helping to solve the dilemma. As in the example of the keys we will have to use our reframe every time we slip up. It's a matter of balancing out your positive and negative thoughts and consciously healing the subconscious. This is a big step toward recovery!
We have found the many people in depression will consciously keep repeating negative thoughts to themselves... again and again and again. Not unlike a person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD They will for instance check to make sure the same door is closed... over and over and over or wash their hands almost constantly.
Their actions might seem silly to us but isn't that what we are doing in our minds? Every one has negative thoughts from time to time. They just seem to pop up when we least expect them and leave us just a quickly as they came. What will dwelling on these negative thoughts get you? Probably a major case of depression.
(r02) If we were to make a list of our negative thoughts our list would probably look different than yours. Make a list if you need to. You will also need to make a list of a coinciding positive re-frames that makes sense to you. We'll show you our list and our re-frames and how Jennifer (our fictional test subject) learned to look at every thing in a different light, or again what we call a positive re-frame.
I am too fat----- I will take at least one positive step today toward losing weight. ---People don't like me. ----- There are some that do! My health is terrible. ---- Let's see what we can do to improve it! Why did she or he leave me? ---- I can't say why, I can start anew. Why did I lose that job? ---- I can't say why, I can look forward to finding one I enjoy more. Why did my spouse have to die? ----- I can't say, It was a great relationship, something to be thankful for. Why did we have to split up? ---- I don't know and to feel hurt now is only natural but the intensity of the feeling is only temporary.
(r03) Actually asking yourself “Why” something happened is an unanswerable question if you did not have direct control over the situation. Why questions lead to hurtful thinking and can trigger depression in some people. We left the Why in our re-frames because it is so typical. There are many times when you can't answer why you did something, let alone why someone else did something. Sometimes things just happen, that's the way it is. It would help to stop asking yourself “why” questions, questions you or you subconscious can't possibly answer. Accepting the fact that we don't always have complete control over our lives and even less control over others will go along way toward recovery!
(r04) Jennifer does not consider, “I am OK as a reframe. Recovery will take more than “I am OK” First of all you know your not OK and OK does not give you a positive direction or goal. Are you starting to get the picture? A positive reframe would have to give the subconscious a realistic answer and a positive direction. It is realistic to take one positive step today toward you goal, or to find another job or to have new relationships or even just to stop asking yourself why this or why that!
(r05) Some negative thoughts won't be so easy to re-frame but... there is usually something redeeming in every situation. It could even be the simple fact that what ever it was is behind you now. Every positive re-frame you can substitute for a negative thought will bring you closer to recovery. Use your positive re-frame every time you have negative thought, and I mean every time. It's a way of helping to balance your negative thought and start the healing process for your sub-conscious. You can consciously do this! Eventually the subconscious will give up those negative thoughts and start agreeing with your positive reframe! Even better yet you will start acting on them.
Did you think of a positive re-frame you could use? Pat yourself on the back even for this small step. Each step brings you closer to recovery.
(r06) You are probably being harder on yourself right now than anyone else is. When the world around us is falling apart, it seems natural to fault ourselves. If you made a mistake at least your were trying and hopefully you will learn by your mistakes. Hey, here's another positive re-frame for you ... Lose some, Win a lot! Not one has ever gone back in time and changed it... we can only go forward and use what we have learned!
It may seem like a platitude but... it is important we get the message across... Nothing is worth the depression you are feeling right now
Exercise daily by being kind to yourself and by changing any self defeatist attitudes. For example.. If you are telling yourself over and over... I can't beat it, or I will never get over it! Just stop and think about the awesome hurdle you are placing in-front of yourself.
(r07) Advertising companies use this technique of repetitive messages but... in a positive way, to convince you how nothing else cleans like the new and improved cleaner or... no product works as fast as their product or aren't you hungry for...
What ever self defeating chants you hear yourself saying... change them to positive chants. I can beat this! I will get over this in time! I can do this... or at least I can try. When ever you get a self defeating thought... and you know what they are~... Tell yourself, it's silly thinking that way. Replace those negative thoughts with your positive re-frame EVERY TIME The more you replace those negative thought the less you will have them. Jennifer found this to be a very rewarding mental exercise. Try it for yourself!
(r08) Did I hear someone say it's not that easy? You must at least be willing to work on it. Yes you can... it may not be easy but... it is possible! In time you will master the art of re-framing and the other tools in this site as well. Negative thoughts will fade out entirely because of neglect. Anti-depression medication may also help break this cycle of repetitive negative thinking. Let's start now with our own positive internal advertising campaign.